I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
