He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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