Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
