it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
What happened to fro yo and sex?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
