It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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