low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
