she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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