I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
