Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
