i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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