I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
