tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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