I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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