Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Randomize