I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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