Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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