I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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