I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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