Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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