people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Randomize
