butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
