Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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