Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
