Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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