your room smells of hookers.
And success
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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