doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
