I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
