And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
True strength comes from lack of pants
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
