she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
