I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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