had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
