We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
