question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
