...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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