dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize