"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
