Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Come on in and take your pants off
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