hell yes lets make some ravioli
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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