Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
