i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
