I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
