She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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