You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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