Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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