i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
