It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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