omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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