My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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