all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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