The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
