smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
