I love black thongs
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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