Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Randomize
