So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
