So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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