its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
