I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
